© Santosh Subramanian – Some rights reserved - Under Creative Commons

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Loving is giving

Today afternoon I (again) saw the tamil movie - "Kizhakku Cheemayilae" - directed by the coveted south indian director Bharatiraaja. I had seen this movie a couple of times earlier and I like Bharatiraaja's films for their smell of the soil, fragrance of true love and the prick of emotions. This movie is about the love of a brother to his sister, the different phases, situations, face-off, egos that their families go through after she is married off. Despite many provocative attempts, the love, giving & caring of the brother to his sister triumphs over everything even if that meant loss of physical property, loss of ego, loss of pride and what ever.

There is a message in for every one in this movie. How many of us are ready to give away in the name of true love? Or if I rephrase this question; How many of us truly - in all sense - love their loved ones? How many of us get upset if the so called loved one did not, or does not behave or reciprocate in the way that we expect them to do? Answer this honestly to your inner soul.

So, there is a dimension of exchange or barter system in there which takes away the essence, the purity, the sweetness of true love. I remember seeing this board in front of one of the very famous shrines in Bangalore - "The more you will love me, the more I will bless you!" (No offense meant to the shrine or the related beliefs - This is just a analogy)- Isn't that what percollates down to every individual - though not explicit - in terms of setting expectation for love?

I am a person who feel that the moment you say something like - "If you do X, I will do Y" - it is pure business, not emotion. The head works there and not the heart. And what happens there is just actions to fulfil your own 'agenda of life' - if you are the ordinary mob - and take care of the agenda of your family, if you are one of those 'broad minded' people.

It reminds me of a school story where a kid caged the parrot because he 'loved' the parrot. There were teachers then, who corrected the kid telling him that if he truly loved the parrot, let the parrot find its happiness - and the parrot would never find happiness being confined to a cage. I guess in this generation, we don't have good parents, we don't have good teachers or good mentors who can guide us understand what true love means & how to achieve that. We are all in a rat race to prove something to somebody and in the process forgetting to live & love to fullness.

I have, off-late, started being numb if somebody tries to emotionally blackmail me. It used to be a turbulent affair everytime earlier and it never helped me as an individual or as the head of my family. I will just shutdown my response system if I feel somebody is trying to push me to the edge. May be I will look like an idiot or joker or even like Narasimha Rao (no offense meant to the individual or the party - just another analogy)- But that helps me to love my dear ones without having a personal agenda in mind and not being affected by an agenda!